The other day at a play group I was sitting around chatting with some of the other moms when I overheard Haylee and a group of kids behind me talking.
I better start off by saying Haylee is only 2 years old but she is as tall as most 4 and 5-year-old children. Naturally, she gravitates to those kids who are the same size as her which happen to be those who are 2-3 years older.
So here we are at a play group, Haylee is running around with the 5-year-old group when I hear one of the kids say "Haylee, say something", then another "Come on, talk Haylee". One kid then said loudly "Guys, she's not smart, she can't even talk." followed by "Yeah, she's dumb."
When I heard that last comment my heart broke, I seriously was on the verge of tears. I was so sad and hurt, I wanted to turn around and yell at those kids letting them know that Haylee is smart, she's only 2, she gets shy when put on the spot, and she's learning. My "mama bear" was out in full force.
As I turned around, I saw Haylee sitting with the kids, and I realized a couple of things. I realized that those kids are only 4 & 5 and they didn't say it trying to be mean and they weren't intentionally trying to hurt her feelings. I also noticed that, luckily, the comment didn't even phase her. All the children promptly got up called for Haylee to follow them and they continued to play like nothing happened.
I sat there seriously choked up because I didn't even want to think about my child being hurt or bullied. I didn't want her to even know the feeling of having being called a name, or put down. Because let's be honest, it sucks.
You know that saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." It's a lie. Words do hurt, and they can hurt badly.
Unfortunately, in the future there will be bullies, those who intentionally want to hurt my kids' feelings. I wish I could always be a mama bear and be right next to them, ready to jump and defend them at all times. I wish I could be at their side constantly cheering them on, telling them how awesome they are. But I can't.
I can be their biggest cheerleader, I just have to do it from the sidelines.
I dread the day when they'll come home from school in tears because someone was mean to them. I'll cry right along with them, if not harder. I dread the day when they start even considering that what other people say is true.
Kids will be mean. Teenagers will be mean. And, unfortunately, adults will be mean.
My goal as a mother is to teach my kids that they are important, that they are loved no matter what, that they are smart, that they can accomplish anything with hard work and determination, that they are beautiful regardless of the "world's standards", that being kind is more important than being popular, and that they'll never be alone.
My role as a mother is essential in helping them build up their self confidence and realizing their self worth, and that's a huge responsibility.
So today I'll tell my kids they're important. I'll praise them when they succeed, I'll encourage them when they fail. I'll tell them I love them. I'll teach them to be a friend and to never ever be a bully. I'll teach them to stand for what is right.
My spot may only be on the sidelines but I can cheer very, very loud.
